what to do, what to do...

1) Boys are gross. I just have to get that off my chest. At some point, all boys are just gross. Loveable yes, clean and sanitary, no. Ugh. What does it take to actually get the pee into the toilet and NO WHERE else? Seriously? How is that soooooooooooooo difficult?

2) Kade will not stop hitting his brother. It gets better for a while, then comes back with a vengeance. Jack's poor face is covered in scratches and is so red all the time. It really breaks my heart, and I can already see Jack acting out because of it. The poor little guy though, just adores Kade so much and even tells him how much he loves him all the time. It hurts my heart.

3) I have textbook cases of 1st, middle, and baby within my children. I can almost predict what my future holds in their upbringing and issues because of how exact they have been so far. Let me tell you, not all of it is bright! lol Kyla is the bossy, know it all, "responsible" one. Kade is beyond "lost" and has the "where do I fit in" aura about him already, and Jack - well Jack KNOWS he is the baby and uses that fact every single chance he gets. He's not even good at hiding it, it's in your face I AM THE BABY AND I WILL GET AWAY WITH THIS. ( sad thing is, about 50% of the time he does because his little smile and personality is absolutely amazing. When Kyla wants her way she is starting to be dramatic and gives us these puppy dog eyes and knows exactly what to say to guilt us into whatever it is she needs. On the upside of that, she can also be punished by pulling at her heart strings just like I always was when I was growing up. Now when it comes to my Kade, that's a whole different story. My gorgeous soft little Mr. Beard is so over the top charming and addicting, I think he's smarter than all of us put together! He can do something horribly bad, then 2 seconds later come up and hold my hands, rub my face, kiss me, and say something amazingly calming.

I'm really all over the place with this post. I knew I would be since I've been out of it for so long, but I just have to keep pushing through to get back in the groove. I miss writing. It made me so happy, and I need to be happy to be a good mom, wife, daughter, and friend.

I looked into pre-schools for Kade today. I'm going to do what I did with Kyla and send him 2 days a week for a couple of months. Seeing those poor mothers deal with screaming kids the first week of Kindergarten really really really freaked me out. I know he'll probably be ok, as he is much better for everyone else than he is for me, but it still makes me nervous. So nervous I feel like the worst mom in the world and missed out on signing him up for the baseball league we wanted. I think I'll do parks and rec though for him as soon as I can get him in for the spring.

I'm worried about going back to school, Kyla's sleep schedule was amazing and now it's all thrown off..... I guess she'll probably just have to be tired for the first week back like she was when school first started. I would send all of my kids to school right now full time if it meant they would all be in bed by 9 p.m. ( just kidding mom! )

OMG - Robert now is snoring so loudly. It makes me crazy and tense. I'm so putting that on our list of things to take care of this year with his awesome medical flex spending account that we opted for.

Now I feel like I could just keep typing forever! Typical.
I'll be back tomorrow........
YAY!

Christmas Pictures..

I have fallen into the trap of not blogging for so long that I don't know where to begin. I miss it horribly, and really think I will be a happier person if I take the time to write more. Now that Robert bought me a laptop, I think that I should journal my days as a way of winding down each night in the upcoming 2010 year. Of course that would require me not falling asleep in one of their beds first...... well, I'll work on it.

I'm going to end the year of blogging with a lot of pictures from Christmas -

The kids really really really got into 'Santa' this year. Kade sat on his lap, a self realized improvement from last year. Jackie was the same high spirited kid when he walked in as he was last year, and Kyla was as matter of fact as always. We tracked him on line even - so that added to the excitement.

There were infinite humorous, tense, crazy, great, horrible, amazing, joyous moments that have occurred with my wonderful family over the last month or two - and I'm ashamed that I didn't document them better. The kids seemed to have made so many significant changes and statements that it was almost overwhelming at how quickly life passes.

What was read at the assembly as written by her teacher

Kyla is such an ideal student. She is totally amazing to have skipped kindergarten and be at the top of the class in 1st grade. She seems to excel in whatever she tries to do. She's a fluent reader. She scores high on math chapter tests. She's a developing writer. Her homework is done well, complete, and turned in on time. What I really enjoy is that she has such a sweet spirit about her. She lives "the Golden Rule" and therefore sets such a good example for others. I'm sure her life will continue to blossom and have many, many successes.

I will post pics tomorrow... I'm the proudest mom in the world today!!
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Santa

Made an appearance at the soccer tournament!

My kids seriously have the cutest, softest, most adorable, precious toes and feet EVER! EVER.

Testing

I'm testing the ability to email to my blog...
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Testing my mobile abilities to blog!

MUCH better!

It's very common, and I'm sure just general human nature for most people to talk about difficult times and situations they are faced with more often than positive and uplifting times and situations.

Two posts ago, I did exactly that. Now, I would like to do a follow up post, this one being much more positive - however still quite honest.

Shortly after that post, Robert and I had hit rock bottom. We experienced feelings and decisions that broke us down. Actually, and more accurately temporarily completely broke us. The key word there I'm happy to say though, is 'temporarily'. We've compared our recent journey to a drug addict hitting rock bottom before their individual life changes take place. This may sound extreme, however to me appropriate due to the significant life change that came with the situation. Whether our family of 5 dissolved as we knew it, or things changed for the better - it was that significant.

We have both had individual epiphany's that have brought our friendship back. Our relationship had lost it's much needed friendship base along the way, but with our amazing friendship that we do share, we are happily working on it daily and enjoying doing so. Something is different. I love it and have feelings of pride and happiness every single day. ( I sadly hadn't been able to say that for a long time )

Marriage is not easy and often not even very fun. Everyday hasn't been and wont be perfect, but my glass seems to be half full now instead of half empty - what a wonderful change!!!!

"be yourself day"

Kyla's favorite type of outfit consists of the following:

"short pants" ( jean capris with a design on the rear pockets )
" a cool shirt" ( her favorite one is the one she wore the first day of school, the blue and black striped one with the "rocker" looking design on the front )
a black belt

and her black boots ( she switches between her tall black boots and her black cowboy boots )

I only allow this at home because boots and short pants look funny as the short pants are about an inch above the top of the boots. She thinks it looks fantastic. She wants to wear it to school daily, and we argue about this every morning.

So last night she came up with this:

Kyla: "MOM, guess what tomorrow is?"
Me: "what is tomorrow Kyla?"
Kyla: " It's dress cool day. You know, like be yourself day!"

Me: ( cracking up inside ) " WOW, really?! That's an awesome name for a day, are you SURE it's tomorrow because tomorrow is normally school colors day? "
Kyla: ( starting to smirk cause she can NOT lie to save her life ) "Yes mom, I'm totally serious."

Me: " that is so lucky for you - what in the world are you going to wear? "
Kyla: " they even said you can wear boots and short pants and EVERYTHING."

Me: " that's just CRAZY, you must be SO excited! "

So this morning, she puts on her short pants and cowboy boots while I'm silently thankful that my dad is taking her to school and not me. My silence and slight suggestion finally hit her and she walked up to me and said: "FINE, I'll just wear long pants with my boots!" *BIG SIGH*

what happened?

My blog used to mean everything to me. I can't believe I've let it go so badly. I feel like I've let quite a few things go lately though..... time to get back on track.

Looking back on the last month, so many good things stand out about my awesome kids.

Kyla is just continuing to impress and overwhelm me with her knowledge and understanding of things. The books she reads is just phenomenal and her printing is just remarkable. She loves school and she loves her "friends." She doesn't like me to walk her in anymore, so when we get to a safe spot near the gate she says: "Ok, mom - this is far enough, give me a quick hug" and off she goes. :( She is also very very very bossy these days, and has taken on the skill of back talking much stronger than before. She doesn't know who she is dealing with when it comes to debating... I don't lose. LOL She only has 2 soccer games left - that season went by so quickly!

Although Kade has been very Kade-ish at times, most other times he has been absolutely the sweetest little man on the planet. He has really taken on the responsibility of making sure Jack is taken care of and happy. He's trying to teach him how to swing himself, he makes sure that he gives him hugs and tells him that he's his friend and he loves him, even if he says he's not sometimes. If Jack is upset about something, Kade begs me to just "give it to him" or give in to whatever it is that Jack is wanting. He's given him shirts off of his back, last pieces of candy, extra toys and several other things. It warms my heart. Of course, several minutes later he will punch him in the face with a closed fist. Brothers - I love it. OH, probably the thing that stands out the most about Kade right now is that he lives upside down. Literally, every piece of furniture he walks up to, he has to get on it with his legs above his head. ALL THE TIME. Sometimes it's funny... sometimes, not so much.

I think I need to start calling Jack the 'gentle giant' My baby is SO big and strong, yet so soft and caring. One minute he will be boxing with his daddy and the next minute he has a brush ready and a pillow on his little lap ready for me to lay down on so he can brush my hair. He does a really really good job too. He keeps saying: " is that ok? does that hurt? " lol Robert and I took him with us out to meet a couple of Robert's friends for a drink last week and he LOVED being the only kid with us. The whole way there he kept saying: "I love going with you guys." Love is his favorite word. " I love this table, I love my Papa, I love this car, I love these socks, I love spongebob" etc... you name it. He loves it! He recently starting eating pickles with the rest of us, and he is ever so proud of that accomplishment! He also recently ate about a quarter of a huge Pumpkin Cheesecake. He takes after his daddy on that one!

Robert turned 37 last week! Aiden turned 6 on Sunday, and TJ is about to turn 30! I feel SO old these days, and just can't wait to get to a point where I get more than 5 hours of broken sleep a night. It's not good for the people around me when I have such poor sleep! :)

I've been really bad about taking pictures with my camera, they've all been with my phone - so I'm vowing to get back to over-taking again. Here are some recent favorites...

There are no words to express how lucky I am to have all of the amazing people that I have in my life.