yes it's that important

I have managed to take a picture of my new shoes that I bought for the Sex and The City girls night out tomorrow night, but couldn't manage to take a picture of Kade's head stand - bad mommy!!!!

I am unbelievably excited for this movie. You'll know when I write on Monday if Carrie and Big didn't get married because I'll be doing some serious pouting / venting!

If it's this bad now, what happens at 15?

Last night Kyla went to bed on her own, asked me to rub her "for a second" like normal, I left the room... standard so far.
Jack was asleep, Kade was asleep (odd for Kade, but true ) and I layed in bed excited to be going to sleep at 9:15 for a change.
Next thing I know, I hear Kyla crying to herself. I let it go for a few minutes because sometimes she just does this when she's tired, but she'll stop after she finds Dora or Minnie and cuddle and fall asleep. Not tonight.
She opens her door sobbing, which at this point instantly makes me think she is going to wake up Jack, and I tell her to come get in bed with me. She does, along with her Dora lunchbox, and still wont stop crying.
She says she wants Meme - through her sobs of course. I try to talk to her about happy things, rub her back, ask her questions to sideline her thoughts - nothing is working and this is what she says:
"mom, I'm trying to stop crying, I want to stop crying, I just CAN'T stop crying."
I have to admit several things happened then:
1) I giggled
2) I felt bad for giving her my obvious DNA
3) I understood exactly what she was saying
4) How in the world am I going to handle it when a friend or worst even a BOY breaks that big heart of hers and she really can't stop crying because her heart hurts. That will actually kill me I think.

P.S. Kade has now taken to living upside down as often as possible. He spends much of his evening doing a head stand on the back of the couch. His head is in the cushions and his feet are on the wall... he runs towards the couch and flips himself up there like that. It's hilarious! Wouldn't it be great if I could show you all a picture of what I'm talking about??? (o:

P.P.S Robert has found out that he will be working mandatory Saturdays and some Sunday's for all of June and July and part of August. Nothing like jumping back into work!! Yeay!!

Do you know where your husband is??

I DO!!!!!!!!!
He's at WORK!! FINALLY. It has been a VERY long almost 18 months of disability - looking back, I'm partially surprised that we made it through. It is not normal to have your husband not have a routine for 18 months. Especially my husband, he's not exactly the most self motivated person in the world! Of course it hasn't been all bad - he has been able to spend a lot of quality time with the kids that he would have never gotten to do, and he got a lot of side work in, which is always good.

This morning though, I swear he was a little more handsome and lovable than he was last week... is that possible?? Well, that was until I discovered that he forgot his cell-phone!!

So did the weather suck or what this weekend?? Seriously - I had 4 days off and it was gloomy all weekend.
We still had a nice time though - we took the kids to the Discovery Science Center on friday - they loved it. There was however 7 field trips! I can't wait to go back when it's less crowded, if there is such a time.
Robert had a side job that was supposed to be just Sat. but ended up being Sunday instead and TJ was helping him, so I had 4 kids for about 48 hours.. I was exhausted, but it was fun for the most part. Robert, TJ, and I took the kids to Chucky(sp?) Cheese since the side job didn't work out - and it wore them out just enough for a perfect nap. I have great pictures but can't put them on right now of course!

Yesterday we celebrated my dad's birthday and bbq'd at his house - it was a really nice day with tons of great food! The only thing missing was the sun, hot weather, and swimming!!

The kids were so great this weekend - I wish I could remember all of the great things they've been saying, they really kept me amazed and entertained!
Kyla is just getting so big, it's happening too fast. You should hear her - everything out of her mouth is: "I can do this now because I'm 4, or Kade - you have to be 4 to do this," etc..
Kade's new word and subsequently now his nickname is: fooshnickens. Robert said it a long time ago and Kade started out by saying it when he falls, or drops something, or gets frustrated. He'll say - awwhh FOOSHNICKENS. I can't stop laughing when he says it, say it; you can't help but smile. So now it's also our nickname for each other.
Kade also said just completely out of the blue: "Girls belong in the house and boys belong outside!" EXCUSE ME?? I couldn't stop laughing, and we have no idea where that came from.
Jack seems to have grown over the last week as well. All of the tshirts he had been wearing and most of the pants are now WAY too tight. He already looks like he's a big corn-fed steak eating cowboy from the mid-west, now his clothes are too tight! I need to go buy him 4T's just so they look like they fit around his middle and roll up the bottom. Poor Kade - he can still wear some 2T pants! I have a linebacker and what Robert calls an "Ambercrombie Model" He says Kade is going to be the guy that can wear all the clothes that normal guys can't wear. ( Robert just has never been able to wear them ) Like the clothes from Express that he says XL is actually like small at any other normal store...
Anyway - I thought it was funny, I probably didn't translate it very well though.

Happy Birthday Kyla Michele xoxo

( we are celebrating her b-day 1 day early to make things easier... my mom is having her "cupcake" day at her house today )

I couldn't fall asleep last night because I just couldn't stop thinking of all of the millions of things I want to say about how much I love Kyla. I want her to look back at this and be able to tell through my words how infinite my love is for her, and how she actually helps me breathe.
As most of you know, 2 months before I found out that I was pregnant with Kyla I was told chances are I wouldn't be able to have children. When my doctor told me I was pregnant after me experience this horrible unexplainable sickness for 3 weeks ( which I thought was an ulcer ) I couldn't stop crying. I think that's when my life began and I remember it vividly. My wonderful doctor cried with me and gave me such a big hug ( she actually sent me a thank you note for being able to be the one to tell me. )
The pregnancy was pretty good until the end, I gained 60 lbs and ate a cake every other week... I was horribly swollen and went into pre-term labor a few times. I told everyone the date I was going to have her, and I did. My water broke after I watched Love Actually and sobbed at my favorite part thus causing contractions to start... Labor was horrible ( she came out with her hand on her forehead and I had back labor ) but once she was here, I could have jumped off of that hospital bed just to kiss her if I had to.
Kyla was the perfect baby - she slept through the night at 6 weeks and was non-stop happy. She was so chunky and heavy and adorable as she grew up. She lit up a room and we were so proud of her.
I think I'll do a few of my "things about Kyla" ( includes some bragging!! )
1. Kyla knew how to count to 10 and her ABC's by 20 months old - it hasn't stopped since.
2. She loves salad with croutons and bacon bits, and frequently asks if she can have that for dinner.
3. She calls me nearly every morning to tell me that she loves me and talk about her outfit that she is wearing ( or ask if she can change it.. Robert can't deal w/ that "nonsense" )
4. She makes these wonderful humming/happy/pleasure noises when she's snuggling up to you or getting cozy in her bed
5. She smells better than anything else on the planet - like "cinnamon butterflies"
6. She can't wait to have as many freckles as I do - she says..
7. I call her Lala-butts. I can't stop. Robert used to call the kids Monkey butts because their perfect little butts looked like Monkey butts, but some how it's graduated to Kyla-butts or Lala-butts. She answers happily
8. Kyla can get her daddy to do ANYTHING for her.
9. She is love. She shows love, she gives love, she wants love, she loves love.
10. She is a girly-tomboy. I always say that one of her biggest choices will probably be whether or not to be the cheerleader or the athlete... she'll go straight from the nail/hair salon to the field - hopefully she'll be a Gabrielle Reese when she grows up!
Kyla you are my perfect, beautiful, smart, kind, compasionate, wonderful daughter who came into my life to change it for the better forever.
I love you my Lala-butts. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

1 week into the adventure of Kyla


My chunky monkey at age 1


Her personality at age 2 showed us what was to come


3 was a great great year for Kyla!


My 4 yr old beautiful princess.

Shapes, colors, lunges, and slides -

Jack is doing SO good with everything more and more.
He points out the differences in shapes when we ask, and can sort his colors - red, blue, yellow, and green accurately!!!
It's amazing how much attention to detail I am taking with him, and just took it all for granted with Kyla and Kade. I mean Kyla is amazing and she has always amazed me, but it almost got to be normal for her - Kade has followed in her footsteps hitting milestones right on time, and is quite smart himself, but with Jack I'm really appreciating his accomplishments.
He's physically doing a lot more too - all of the kids stretched and did crunches with me, then Jack held my hand and did lunges ( his fat little legs were unbelievably cute to watch do this ) with me back and forth across the grass. He dances like crazy and wrestles with his brother and sister. The talking is going to start and never stop any time now, I can feel it.
I openly admit that I will very much baby my baby for the rest of his life. I even get upset with my dad when he disciplines him like everyone else - how pathetic huh? He just melts my heart. (o:

After our "workout" we all played soccer, baseball, and on the slides like an obstacle course. I LOVE SUMMER / WARM WEATHER!


I have found myself asking Kyla to do many things that I would normally have to do... this was after Kade begging me to twist him - my answer: "Kyla can you just do it please?"


Kyla and Jack playing (o:


Kade going head first down the slide.. you should have seen him the night before, he went head first on his back though, and would fly off the end onto his back, perfectly flat onto the grass - he would just laugh and laugh and laugh!


Jack climbing up the rock wall -

A few things I don't understand:

Why can Kade tell us no he doesn't have to pee for 25 minutes when we ask him every 2 minutes, then literally go around the corner ( the first time we didn't have him in front of us ) and pee on my floor?

Why does Jack go to bed between 8:30 - 9:00 at night now ( when it used to be 7 - 7:30 ) and wake up earlier than he did when we went to bed earlier. He wakes up at 6:00 a.m. now??????????

How some people get everything done that they are supposed to get done without feeling resentful that they have too much to do? LOL

OR - how do people live in the moment of what is happening instead of thinking of all of the other stuff they have to do.

Things I do understand:
Why people become alcoholics/do drugs - j/k ( sort of )
Why people get vasectomy's - ( I love my kids )

THAT ROBERT HAS A TRAINING START DAY OF MAY 27TH AND A START START DAY OF JUNE 2ND!
Lets see if it sticks this time.

Just catching up with lots of pictures!

I LLLLOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEE HIM!!!!!!!!


The kids on the tractors at the Carnival on Mother's day


"SUPER-AIDEN"


My mom and her kids on mother's day


Most of us on Mother's day -


This is my "celebrate" cake that Robert bought me. The kids thought it was my birthday again already!


My blue eyed man and I... ( I think I have 1 picture in the last 8 years where he is NOT making a strange face )


We had lots to drink and lots of fun!


And this is us after taking the last picture... ( ignore the old dentistry!! lol )

no computer?!?!

Robert told me our computer has officially died. We had seen it getting very tired and thankfully he backed everything up so we didn't lose anything ( I would have killed him if he didn't because he had plenty of warning ) but it's now gone and I have these great pictures from the wedding and mothers day that I can't post. urrggh

He made so much fun of me because that was the first thing I said when he told me that we officially have to buy a new one is: "what about my blog?"

Thank goodness I have an office job so I don't have to stop cold turkey...

Yeay!

Ok so my meeting with my bosses went VERY VERY well yesterday. I have a very clear direction on the near future... as soon as we sign on the pending accounts, I'll be able to back away from the part of the job that for lack of better words, I do not enjoy and takes up much of my time, and will be responsible for the all of the training and implementation of our business model when we expand across the country. Something that interests me tremendously. ( not to mention a significant financial incentive to go with it!!!! )
SO - that's done. Oh, I need to basically come up with a proposal for what my new title should be, and I'm struggling with that a bit.

Robert made me a yummy dinner, and invited mom and dad and TJ & Aiden over to congratulate me with a lemon cake a cute candles that said "celebrate" Sweet huh?!

I caught a cold from flying and now I'm going to have a head cold when I'm up in Lake Arrowhead... bummer!

I can't believe my "baby" is actually 2.

I'm very emotional about baby Jack turning 2. It just hit me last night when I was putting him to bed and rubbing his sweet little happy face - that 2 years ago yesterday my 3rd child was born. My 3rd child that was conceived 3 weeks before my husband's vasectomy was done - my 3rd child that delivered 4 weeks early ( and after being awake for 36 hrs ) and the thought of scared me to death. 2 kids was already more than I thought I could handle, then to have 3 of them so close together? The timing of conceiving him made me feel like he was going to serve a bigger purpose in our lives, and I couldn't have been more right. Our son Jack is pure innocence and love. He is happiness and silliness, he is intelligent and has struggles, he makes me slow down and appreciate life - and I wish I could express how thankful for him I am. He is a complete mama's boy and 99.99% of the time I love that - I need him and I'm glad he needs me.

Looking back when he was born, I couldn't stop saying I can't wait until my kids are 2,3,& 4 - or even more frequently 3,4, & 5 ( but of course I'll need to wait until next year for that post! ) But last night, I just sat there crying to Robert about how my baby isn't technically a baby anymore - yes he doesn't talk and yes he is still in diapers, but the fact that he is 2 just means that there is no where left to go but easier. ( based on my last 4 years ) During the years I've really had a lot of struggles, but looking back it all passed in the blink of an eye. That's a little scary - when you are going through something difficult it seems like time is standing still, but reflection on those same struggles make them seem shorter.

We had a nice day yesterday ( his b-day ) We went to Angie's house with Kim's family and the kids had so much fun. Angie has stairs so they all spent much of our time there running up and down the stairs - they played tag and were very good with Jack who couldn't run up and down the stairs as fast as the other kids. She also had a dirt pool... their kids like to play in the dirt as well, so they smartly filled a kiddie pool with dirt instead of getting it out of the flowerbeds! I took pictures, and I'll post them later - I don't have them on my work computer. My kids all fell asleep on the way home ( 10 minutes only before we got home ) and wouldn't take another nap when we got home. Even Jack - no nap for the birthday boy. He actually didn't do too bad - BUT the surprising good news with that, is early bed times for a change. Jack: 7:00 - Kade & Kyla: 8:20 - and mommy got to watch Desperate Housewifes without hitting pause to re-place the kids in their beds. Of course Kyla and Kade didn't sleep well ( they never do when they skip naps ) and ended up in my bed, kicking Robert out and kicking me all night...

With good news comes bad news...

The good news:
My boss called me and asked if I was available to fly up on Thursday the 8th for a meeting with her and the owner about my career with the company! That has to be good right?
The owner told me not to wait until it's too late to let them know if I am less than satisfied ( because we just lost our warehouse manager and he didn't give them a chance to counter-offer, etc.. ) so I didn't, and they want to fly me up now. They don't do stuff like that, so I'm actually pretty excited for the first time in a long time about my job and job possibilities.
The bad news:
As of 3:06 p.m. on Friday May 2nd - we have NO confirmation from HR as to Robert's pay level and start time. We know he's going to Westminster and we know his position - but the 5th is apparantely NOT his start date. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm sure I know what happened; they probably told him the 5th OR the 12th ( which he did share with me ) but somewhere in their communicating with him he probably "decided" to hear that it was the 5th and they probably never actually said that. Oh well - I'm used to it. Maybe he'll clean the house for me next week. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Nothing has changed

No pee in the potty and no start time and starting salary for Monday. He's already called them and said that he assumes if he doesn't hear from them that his start date will be later than the 5th? To which they answered with a too casual answer for my taste: "we are placing a lot of people right now and are still waiting to hear back with the details." SOOOOOO now it might be the 12th. I seriously don't think I can make it another week.