patience

has never been my strong point. Granted, some may say and have said that I am the most patient person in the world. From the outside, I can see reasons why that may be a quick assumption. On the inside, however, I know the painful truth. I am NOT patient enough.

I wish I had more patience. LOTS more patience.

Needless to say, I lost my patience tonight. Home work is not something I enjoyed as a student, nor do I enjoy doing it with Kyla now. She dilly-dallies. ( LOL - I've never typed out that word before.... is it an actual word? ) I don't have time for that. Just get it done. It has to be done. It's going to be done, so just DO IT. Seriously, when I have all 3 kids with homework due, I think my head may actually spin off.

As I'm sitting here thinking about how frustrated I am with how Kyla thinks her homework is boring, a harsh realization just hit me. Hard. I dilly dally at work. I don't enjoy my work, so I put it off. She says she doesn't enjoy the homework, so that I'm sure is her way of putting it off. She would much rather sing and "write music" on her guitar. Now the rational side ( it shows up every once in awhile ) of me speaks to her with carefully calculated and creative thinking to get her to do her homework. When that doesn't work how I think it should, I then lose my patience and she loses hers and says: "FINE!" Then I say "FINE!" Then I yell for Robert to step in. SHE'S 5!!!!!!! I'm never gonna make it.

At that point she comes up with additional excuses for not doing her homework... the blister on her foot is "Killing" her. She can't concentrate with the pain. She can't walk ( of course ) and she definitely can't lay down without putting it up on a pillow. Uh huh. That is another area where I am NOT patient. Again my answer to that is by yelling: ROBERT!

After all of that, I'm now becoming irrational and start letting my mind wander to other things. I walk up to Robert, who just looks at me like: 'ok, I'm ready for it' and I say completely random, out of the blue requirements about him making a doctors appointment, being healthier, and having more energy. He just blinked and didn't say a word as I turned around and walked away. Although it made no sense at the time, I felt much better afterwards.

This is what she would much prefer to be doing. She sings while she eats, while she goes potty, while she does her homework, while she plays with her barbies, while she gets dressed, while she walks - she is always singing. It's quite adorable, but not when she should be doing homework!