75 things about me.

So my friend just wrote 50 things about herself, and her friend wrote 100! They were very interesting to read... I thought I would do the same. * edit * Happy reading... or skip right over it - I've enjoyed the 2 day insight into my thoughts...
( try it, it's pretty liberating )

1. For only a very short 2 years of my life did I have an incling of what I "wanted to be when I grew up" I actually wanted to be a CPA.
2. My secret desire is to be a personal trainer with my own studio - or to train wealthy people / celebrities. This I know is impossible so I don't consider it what I want to be.
3. Even though I pretended I found peace with being told I probably couldn't have children, I was devastated. I knew in my heart I was meant to be a mom.
4. I frequently believe that I thought I would be a better mom than I am.
5. I also frequently believe that I'm a very good mom.
6. The fact that my parents are still married has greatly affected my marriage for the better.
7. I used to wish my parents would get divorced.
8. I couldn't imagine my parents not being together now.
9. I've just recently gotten the concept of North, South, East, & West without a map.
10. I love food. It makes me very very very happy and can easily fix negative moods.
11. I've cried atleast a dozen times because food has tasted so good.
12. I enjoy going out to eat more than most other things in life - even if I didn't love the food, I love the process.
13. I hate when my food touches each other.
14. I can't stand casseroles, but I love hamburger helper when Robert makes it with olives.
15. I wish I could run without feeling like my lungs are going to collapse.
16. All 5 of us are very physically strong.
17. Kharma is something I very much believe in.
18. There are many times I believe that the negative things that may happen to me are because of something I've done in the past.
19. There is 1 thing about me that no one else on the planet knows, it's not significant or hurtful, but I still wont tell.
20. Robert knows every single thing about me other than this 1 thing.
21. I believe that saying about the fact that friends are here for reasons and seasons and each one serves a different purpose in our lives.
22. My friend Maria is my soulmate. I see her almost the least out of all of my closest friends, and have known her almost the least amount of time.
23. I consider my friend Becky my sister.
24. When I'm old and gray I think Cheryl, who I've known since I was 18 months old will be sitting next to me being old and gray herself. We'll be together still.
25. I feel lucky every day to have several other good friends to laugh with, keep me sane, and relate to when I need them - even if it's unspoken help.
26. I wish I could tell my mom I love her more and be more sentimental with her. I have NO idean why I can't, and I know I'll regret it later.
27. My mom drives me crazy with her lack of togetherness, but I've realized that all of her delays are because she's doing something nice for someone else.
28. I wish I had more of my moms traits, I would be so much more relaxed.
29. Chatting is not my strong point. Silence is ok with me.
30. I feel like I don't smile nearly as much as I used to, and I miss it.
31. Having kids has really created some major physical and chemical difficulties I didn't use to have.
32. I suffer from depression. I use the word suffer because that's how it feels when I can't control how it makes me act.
33. The thought of death can cause an immediate panic attack.
34. I can't watch movies, tv shows, or commercials where children are suffering or have been hurt.
35. I'm finding this easier than I thought it would be and equally enlightening - I almost wonder if I could come up with 100 things I'm willing to share.
36. If I could have any cosmetic surgery done for free, I would chose a nose job rather than boobs ( which I REALLY want )
37. I don't think there is one other person on the planet that could handle my husband. I think I've saved his life, and so does he. I love him.
38. I love talking about my kids and trying to figure out the different ways to describe my individual love for each of them; like this:
39. Kyla is my soul. Her existence actually helps me breathe.
40. I have never felt love like I have the moment I delivered Kade, and it's been growing ever since.
41. Jack. My Jack. Life would be incomplete without my Jack. He truly completes me.
42. I wish my parents were healthier.
43. I can still do a cartwheel and a back bend.
44. I wish I left better impressions on people that meet me, but my lack of smiling turns a lot of people away I think.
45. I always find a way to let new people I meet know that I have 3 kids. It's like I feel guilty if I allow people to assume I am not a mom.
46. I'm not registered to vote and I will not register until we drop the Electoral College and make it popular. I also don't complain about who is elected.
47. I used to LOVE to argue my point, I was known for it. Now, it's just not worth the time except in a few occasions.
48. Being cold really freaks me out. It stops me in my tracks and actually kind of scares me how it feels.
49. No one ever says anything negative to me about me, and that makes me wonder about people's honesty.
50. I wish money didn't affect me so much.
51. I've never been to Hawaii but really want to go.
52. I think I should have been Italian.
53. Now that I have kids, I feel like I've lost the right to do things that may increase my chances of being hurt - like skydiving.
54. I know my whole life will be different in 5 years, and I can't wait.
55. My job makes me miserable. I feel like I'm above the people I have to deal with.
56. I know that makes me spoiled and I know I'm lucky, but it doesn't change the fact.
57. I don't think a degree is necessary to be successful and I like how many employers now are accepting equal experience to degree's in some professions.
58. Music used to be a huge part of my life and I miss it.
59. Music and ( some GREAT friends of course ) got me through my low points of getting divorced.
60. I wouldn't change but one thing through out my life.
61. That one thing would be to not be in a relationship my 11th and 12th grade year of highschool.
62. I overanalyze everything.
63. Robert's hugs can make almost anything better at the moment.
64. I would rather be a janitor than a waitress. I admire good waitresses more than you know.
65. It takes very little for me to learn something new.
66. I've only eaten at a restaurant by myself once, and it was just last year.
67. I gauge restaurants by their salad dressings.
68. We have no couple friends that we are equally close to the husband and the wife, and I really wish we did.
69. Even though Robert has been hard to live with at times, I think he's made me a much better, more understanding and empathetic person.
70. There are 2 things I wish I could type, but am too worried about how they would be perceived.
71. I wish I didn't care about that, but I know I always will. I have gotten much better though.
72. Abortion has entered my mind as an option if I were to get pregnant again, even though I know I could never go through with it having 3 other baby faces to look at.
73. I used to wash my car every weekend and change the oil in my car by myself.
74. I think I know a little bit about a lot of things.
75. Every once in awhile I will smell something that is impossible to smell ( because it's not around ) and it brings me back to a memory instantly.